


Slow

by honooko



Series: Theatre-verse [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Theatre, First Time, M/M, Theatre-verse, Virgin Hongbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 07:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12626511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honooko/pseuds/honooko
Summary: Wonshik has been perfectly happy to take things slow. Now, however, Hongbin wants more.





	Slow

**Author's Note:**

> So even after 43k words on the main fic, apparently I still have more of this, so it's a series now. There are upcoming parts. I'm so sorry.

Wonshik just kind of liked touching Hongbin; it didn’t really matter how, or in what way, or in what context. Just leaning on him, holding his (adorable) hand, laying down with his head in Hongbin’s lap—it was all good. It was all wonderful. But as time went by, Hongbin got more ambitious about being physical. He had already confessed to having literally zero experience, but Wonshik honestly wasn’t worried in the slightest because they’d been taking their time, and Hongbin had a hell of a lot of initiative.

They’d been sitting on Hongbin’s bed, side by side, Wonshik browsing mixtape reviews on blogs he liked, Hongbin playing his Vita with aggressive movements—suddenly Hongbin made a frustrated noise and threw the Vita down on the covers.

“Yikes,” Wonshik said. “That bad?”

Hongbin climbed over Wonshik, straddling his lap, and pushed him down on his back. Wonshik immediately put his hands on Hongbin’s waist. For a moment, Hongbin hesitated; sometimes his awkwardness carried over into things like this and he doubted himself. All Wonshik did was smile at him, and brush his thumbs gently against Hongbin’s skin. His expression changed and he dipped down to kiss Wonshik, firm and insistent, forcing Wonshik’s attention to commit 100% to him, and only him.

Which was absolutely fine with Wonshik. He could kiss Hongbin forever and never get tired of it. He liked the way Hongbin would experiment, trying new tricks as they occurred to him and memorizing the ones Wonshik responded to most. He had a weird, analytical, pattern-seeking brain that made him great at games and fucking _awesome_ at making out.

Hongbin broke the kiss, and the determination on his face gave Wonshik a strange little thrill up his spine.

“Let’s have sex,” Hongbin said. He was blushing, but didn’t stutter even once, or make a cringe face, or any of the other things that (Wonshik assumed) had stopped him from going there before.

“Uh,” Wonshik said as his brain started shrieking alarm bells at him. “What?”

“Sex,” Hongbin repeated. “With you.”

“Now?”

“Is there somewhere else you have to be?” Hongbin said with a judgmental squint.

“No!” Wonshik said quickly. “That’s not what I meant, I just—I mean, depending on what you’re thinking of doing we kind of... need stuff...”

“I have condoms,” Hongbin informed him with a slight flush. “If that’s what you mean.”

“You do?” Wonshik asked, slightly taken aback.

“Yeah,” Hongbin said, flushing more. “I bought them.”

“When?”

“Three days after you kissed me,” Hongbin said. “I mean—they’re pretty important, right?” He seemed to be slightly doubting himself and Wonshik could see a cringe coming, so he put his hand on Hongbin’s cheek and beamed at him.

“You’re awesome,” Wonshik said. “You’re always ahead of the game, it’s incredible.”

“Little too cringey,” Hongbin said, pulling a face.

“Uh,” Wonshik said, attempting to reword himself in a way that was less blatantly flattering. “Thanks for wanting to sleep with me basically immediately?”

Hongbin drooped, his head falling.

“Back to the sex thing,” Wonshik said, attempting to reroute away from the cringe before Hongbin self-destructed. “I’m not opposed, at all, for clarification, just. Like. We should probably make a plan.”

“Why do we need a plan?” Hongbin said, lifting his head to frown at Wonshik. 

“Because—”

“I’ve never done this,” Hongbin said with a sigh.

“Well, yeah,” Wonshik said diplomatically, “But also talking about this stuff is kind of important too.”

“Why,” Hongbin said flatly.

“I’m going to sit up,” Wonshik warned him before doing so. He put his arms around Hongbin’s waist to keep him in place. Hongbin made the transition with ease, throwing his arms loosely around Wonshik’s neck and squinting at him.

“What if I don’t want to do what you want to do?” Wonshik asked. “It would be nice to know that before we get there, right?”

“You don’t want to?” Hongbin said, looking slightly crushed.

“That’s not what I meant,” Wonshik said quickly. “I do. I mean, like. Hypothetically.”

“So what, we make a diagram?” Hongbin said, back to squinting.

“If you’re into that, but I was thinking more generally,” Wonshik said, diplomatically. “Example: if I jerk you off first, you probably can’t fuck me except with your fingers for a while, so... plan accordingly.”

Hongbin was blinking at him like Wonshik was speaking a foreign language.

“Please tell me you’ve watched porn at least once,” Wonshik said. He received an aggressive nod in response. “What about that was confusing then?”

“You’d let me... fuck you?” Hongbin asked, gingerly at first.

“What do you mean ‘let you’?” Wonshik said, baffled.

“...Do people switch?” Hongbin asked, tilting his head. “That wasn’t the impression I got.”

“Pretty sure most people switch,” Wonshik answered with (relative) certainty. “I mean, yeah, some people are only a top or whatever, but that’s... not as fun, in my opinion.”

“But you’d... let me.”

“Again, ‘let you’ makes it sound like you’d have to talk me into it,” Wonshik said with a shrug. “I’m down with pretty much anything.” He waited for Hongbin to reply, but got nothing but pensive silence. “Do you _want_ to fuck me?”

“Yes,” Hongbin said immediately.

“Tonight?” Wonshik asked, because that was a bit of an ambitious plan for someone who only started kissing about a month ago. Hongbin seemed to come to a similar realization.

“...I don’t know,” he said hesitantly. Impulsively, Wonshik leaned forward to kiss him. It wasn’t anything special; nothing too hot or heavy, just grounding. Present.

“We’ve got time,” he reminded Hongbin with a grin. “We’ll get around to it, if you want to.”

“What do _you_ want to do then?” Hongbin demanded, emboldened by the reassurance. “You haven’t said.”

“I like giving head,” Wonshik said bluntly. He liked a thick cock on his tongue; he also liked the way literally no person ever tasted quite the same as anybody else. Also, he learned how to properly deep throat approximately a year and a half ago and liked to show that particular skill off.

“Is it fun?” Hongbin asked with a layer of skepticism. “It looks... hard.”

“It is,” Wonshik chirped. “That’s why I like it.”

“Are you good at it?”

“ _I_ think so,” Wonshik said. “You’ll have to let me know though. Oh, I should probably tell you now that some people are genuinely not into things and that is normal.”

“Explain,” Hongbin demanded. 

“Like—I mean, there are people who don’t like certain stuff,” Wonshik attempted. He knew this entire conversation was important, especially considering he wanted Hongbin to feel both safe and satisfied, as well as want to do it again. It was, however, starting to feel a little bit like a sex-ed lesson.

“People who don’t like blow jobs or something,” Hongbin said, elaborating.

“Exactly,” Wonshik said. “And that’s okay too. Don’t make yourself do something you don’t like to do.”

“Even if you like it?”

“Of course,” Wonshik snorted at him. “We’re both doing it, we should both be at least on some level enjoying it.”

“Everything you’re describing is very different from the porn,” Hongbin informed him. 

“Porn isn’t real,” Wonshik pointed out. “It’s fantasy. It’s supposed to give you ideas, not facts.”

“Okay, fine then,” Hongbin said firmly. “You want to plan? Let’s plan. I want to have sex tonight. With you. In some way.”

“Sounds good,” Wonshik said. He couldn’t help but feel excited, no matter what they settled on actually doing; it was Hongbin. He couldn’t _not_ be excited.

“I don’t know what I want to do, exactly,” Hongbin added. “I don’t _entirely_ know what my options are.”

“Okay, well,” Wonshik attempted, trying to keep things moving forward. “How about we just make out for a while and see what happens then?”

“That is the opposite of a plan,” Hongbin pointed out.

“I mean like, get in the mood, then plan,” Wonshik clarified in what he felt was a completely helpful manner. Hongbin was back to looking skeptical again, but he wasted no time in shoving Wonshik in the shoulders again until his was flat on his back, then leaning down to kiss him. He was clearly driven towards a goal this time, because he had pulled out all the stops. Wonshik ran his hands up under the hem of Hongbin’s shirt, fingertips skating up his stomach as Hongbin essentially devoured his lips. Hongbin’s breath hitched slightly at the touch, distracted from his purpose just long enough to give Wonshik a chance to smile at him. For whatever reason, this seemed to annoy Hongbin, because he sat up and glared at Wonshik.

“Take off your shirt,” he demanded. “...Please.” Wonshik didn’t need to be told twice; he sat up just enough to pull his t-shirt off and toss it somewhere to the side. Without prompting, Hongbin shed his too with a look of steely determination on his face. They’d done this much before a handful of times, and Hongbin no longer hesitated in letting both his hands and mouth roam. Wonshik was more than happy to be a pliant, encouraging canvas for the pictures Hongbin liked to paint with his tongue. He’d also very recently started to bite; Wonshik was _almost_ embarrassed how much he liked it. He twisted his fingers loosely in Hongbin’s hair as Hongbin bit down on his neck.

Normally, Wonshik tried to keep his reactions somewhat capped, aware of the pressure he could unintentionally put on Hongbin by making things feel sexual; it was, of course, sexual, but he could separate making out from sex if he wanted to. With Hongbin, he wanted to go at his pace. It required restraint, but it was worth it. Now, however, with the intention of working them both up, Wonshik made no attempts to downplay his responses. When Hongbin’s hands ran up his chest and brushed against his nipples, he arched into the touch and moaned. He could feel Hongbin pause, surprised, but then he experimentally did it again and got another response.

“You like that?” Hongbin breathed in his ear. He sounded quite smug about it. Wonshik could almost hear his dimples. It didn’t help that his smooth baritone was like a caress that gave him goosebumps. He turned his head to catch Hongbin’s mouth again, kissing him with less care and more heat than before, and he got the impression Hongbin was getting the message: this time, it was different.

Pausing for air, Wonshik took the opportunity to draw up a long leg and plant his foot on the end of the bed. This had the effect of both ensuring their hips were together, and informing Hongbin without words that he liked it very, very much, thanks, judging by how hard he was. He was delighted when Hongbin hissed, biting his lip and instinctively grinding down against him.

Then he froze.

“Sorry,” he blurted out immediately, turning red. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be _sorry_ ,” Wonshik said, running a hand down his face very gently. His beautiful, cherry-tomato-colored, not-currently-but-frequently-dimpled face that Wonshik could easily stare at for literally hours. Hongbin did not seem comforted by this in the slightest. Instead, he pulled away from Wonshik’s hand and dropped his head, refusing to look at him.

Alright. Well, maybe it was a little too much all at once. 

“We can stop, if you want,” Wonshik told him, hoping he had managed to keep the (slight) disappointment out of his voice. 

“You’re hard,” Hongbin murmured.

“So are you,” Wonshik shot back. “We can still stop.”

“Why?” Hongbin demanded suddenly. “Why aren’t you—mad?”

“What... should I be mad... about?” Wonshik asked with extreme uncertainty. It felt like a trick question somehow.

“I said sex, but if I said stop, then we’d stop, and you’d be like this and it’s my fault but I won’t even—I wouldn’t—”

“Stop,” Wonshik said, slightly stern. “Just stop right there.”

“I’m sorry,” Hongbin said again and really, that was more than his heart could handle. Using the leg he’d pulled up as leverage, he rolled them both on their sides with relatively little effort; this way, they could be close without being quite so... aware of each other.

“I will never be mad at you for sex, or no sex, or thought-we-might-but-actually-never-mind, or _any of that,_ ” he insisted. “I’ll be mad if you do shit you don’t want to do just because of a boner. Boners happen. That’s life.”

“I—”

“I’m not done,” Wonshik interrupted, brushing Hongbin’s bangs off his face. “I’ve done stuff I didn’t really want to for somebody else and I regretted it. It was stupid. I’m not letting you do that.”

Hongbin was quiet for a moment, staring at Wonshik in something between surprise and affection. Maybe it was both. Either way, it hit Wonshik in all the soft spots in his heart at once, and he pecked Hongbin on the forehead, knowing full well that Hongbin _hated it._ Sure enough, he recoiled in a cringe and Wonshik laughed.

“This is harder than I thought,” Hongbin muttered.

“That’s what she said,” Wonshik shot back immediately, which earned him a punch in the chest. He deserved it.

“I still want to have sex,” Hongbin said seriously. “I just... keep thinking about how much I don’t know.”

“I have some information which may shock you,” Wonshik said, attempting to match the serious tone, “The first few times, nobody knows what the hell they’re doing.”

“So how do I _learn?!_ ” Hongbin demanded, thumping him in the chest again.

“I mean,” Wonshik said, “I’m not a fountain of knowledge or anything, but I could show you.”

“Show me?” Hongbin said, squinting.

“Yeah,” Wonshik said. “Let me do it first, then you’ll know. If you want to, obviously.” Hongbin was still squinting, but he tilted his head in a way that seemed receptive. “I mean, some things are better demonstrated anyway. Realistically.”

“You’ll tell me what you’re doing?”

“I’ll check first; you can say no.”

“It almost pisses me off how fucking _nice_ you are,” Hongbin grumbled at him, not for the first time. Wonshik beamed at him, recognizing the hidden compliment and basking in it. He threw an arm over Hongbin’s waist so he could run a hand across his lower back in a soothing manner. He still wasn’t completely sure how this night was going to play out, but as long as he was with Hongbin, he still enjoyed himself.

Taekwoon was starting to complain about how lovestruck he was roughly 99% of the time these days.

“Sorry,” Wonshik said, shrugging, “You’re dating a softie. Deal.”

Apparently choosing to ignore this statement, Hongbin redirected them back to the conversation at hand.

“So how would you start, then?” he asked, squinting harder; his eyes were basically closed at this point. Wonshik blinked at him; it wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about it, but he’d kind of been following Hongbin’s lead in these areas. Now that he was being consulted, he discovered that he actually had quite a few ideas. Similar to how he’d gotten them on their sides, he rolled again until it was Hongbin lying flat, Wonshik over him, propped up with his hands on either side of Hongbin’s head.

“How about this?” he suggested. A flush bloomed on Hongbin’s face, spreading down to his neck and shoulders.

“This is good,” Hongbin said softly. Wonshik leaned down to kiss him, gently, but also with a degree of measured purpose. He noticed that Hongbin seemed unsure what to do with his hands, lifting them and letting them fall without doing anything.

“You can touch me if you want,” Wonshik said helpfully against his lips. “Do whatever you feel like.”

“I want you closer,” Hongbin said. It was barely a whisper, and Wonshik felt it more than heard it, but he would do anything to make this boy happy and gladly dropped from his palms to his elbows. Hongbin was still under him, feeling his weight more than ever, but Wonshik personally often found that to be a grounding experience. Sure enough, Hongbin’s hands instantly started climbing up his back, tracing his spine and shoulder blades. 

“Better?” Wonshik asked, mouthing at the underside of that devastating jaw. Hongbin made a noise instead of a word, somewhere between a hum and a whine. It sounded like a good thing, so he counted it as a win and kept going. He already knew Hongbin got annoyed if Wonshik left him with particularly visible marks (despite Wonshik enthusiastically encouraging Hongbin to do exactly the opposite of that to him) so he tried not to linger in any one area; he kissed and nipped his way down Hongbin’s neck, enjoying the slow, deep heat building in his stomach. Hongbin drew up a knee and once again brought their hips together—this time, he dug his fingernails into Wonshik’s back and bit his lip.

Wonshik wanted to laugh, but he was pretty sure he’d get smacked for it, and that was a game for another day.

Their mouths met again, and Hongbin was considerably sloppier about it than he had been before; he was also more demanding, and Wonshik was more than happy to try and meet that demand. It took a lot of balance, but Wonshik shifted his weight to only one arm, so the other hand was free to start a slow drag down Hongbin’s chest. He liked the way Hongbin’s breath stuttered as Wonshik counted his ribs. 

He lost count when Hongbin arched his neck and gasped, but it didn’t matter because he definitely had the perfect number of ribs anyway.

“Wonshik,” Hongbin said, breathy and distracted. “Please.”

“Please what?” he answered against Hongbin’s neck, following with a gentle scraping of teeth. Hongbin made a low noise that sent a lightning-zap straight down Wonshik’s spine. 

“I don’t know,” Hongbin said, “I don’t—I don’t know what.” He sounded increasingly frustrated, and not in a fun way, but Wonshik also got the impression that stopping would just piss him off even more. Hongbin probably _did_ know what, he just wasn’t completely able to verbalize it. 

Okay then. Time to guess.

Wonshik pushed up with both hands, lifting his weight off of Hongbin.

“No!” Hongbin said instantly, trying to pull him down again. “No, no, I want—don’t!”

“Hey,” he said softly, dropping a kiss. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you, okay? I’ve got you.”

“Are you stopping?” Hongbin asked urgently, bringing his hands to Wonshik’s wrists and holding them in a vice grip. “I don’t want you to.”

“I know,” Wonshik said with a smile. “I’m not. I’m just going to move.” Hongbin still looked worried; a thought occurred to him that maybe they needed something to make it clear what was a ‘stop’ and what was an ‘I don’t know’.

“Okay, we’re going to have a safe word,” Wonshik said. “If you want to stop, for real, say ‘red’. Red for stop. Got it?”

“Okay,” Hongbin said.

“If you say ‘red’, I’ll stop,” Wonshik repeated. “If you don’t say it, I’m going to keep going. Okay?”

“What do I say if I want you to keep going?” Hongbin asked. Wonshik blinked.

“Whatever you want,” he said. “I mean. Sounds. Words. Touch. It’s all good.”

“ _Keep fucking going then,_ ” Hongbin snapped at him, flushed. Wonshik laughed and got cuffed over the head for his trouble. Despite the abuse, he moved down Hongbin’s torso and lowered his head, glancing up once to smirk at him before licking his nipple in a broad stroke of his tongue. Hongbin made a low-pitched sound and twisted his fingers in Wonshik’s hair. Until now, Hongbin had made all the first moves, exploring and testing with Wonshik as a willing subject; now, Wonshik was going to guide him through a whole new experience. It was kind of thrilling. Another lick and Hongbin’s grip in his hair tightened ever-so-slightly. Wonshik used his other hand to roll and pinch the nipple being forgotten and Hongbin gasped.

“Okay?” Wonshik asked, breath hot against his skin. Hongbin just nodded, seemingly at loss for words. Wonshik switched, moving his mouth and using his other hand. Relatively satisfied he’d lingered long enough, he started kissing his way down Hongbin’s torso, pleased with the way Hongbin shuddered under him. He wanted to keep going, but that would mean either getting Hongbin to move higher on the bed, or Wonshik getting on his knees on the floor.

He was not opposed to either option, although he personally got a thrill at the idea of kneeling in front of Hongbin.

Instead, he came back up for more kissing, and Hongbin breathed hard through his nose and met Wonshik open-mouthed. His grip on Wonshik’s hair hadn’t loosened in the slightest and, perhaps unconsciously, he was using it to steer Wonshik’s head in whatever direction and angle he wanted it. It was a little rough, but if he was being totally honest, Wonshik liked things a little rough.

Wonshik ran his hand palm-flat down Hongbin’s torso, heading due south. His fingers hit the waist of Hongbin’s jeans and he stopped.

“Can I touch you?” he asked against Hongbin’s needy mouth.

“Yes,” Hongbin said, insistent. Wonshik smiled and let his hand continue its journey, cautiously palming Hongbin through his jeans. They’d never done this before; _Hongbin_ had never let anyone do this before, and Wonshik was momentarily breathless at the astounding courage it took to put it all in his hands and just... trust.

Wonshik would do absolutely anything to be worthy of it. 

He rolled his palm more firmly, eyes glued to Hongbin’s face so he could memorize every expression as it flitted across his face. He was delighted when Hongbin’s mouth fell open and his eyes closed. It was good, great even—but it could be better, and Wonshik wanted to give him the best. That meant skin.

“I’m going to open these,” he said, licking at the shell of Hongbin’s ear while he thumbed the button of his jeans. “Okay?”

“Go,” Hongbin said, but there was a pinch of nervousness—not the good kind—in his voice that Wonshik didn’t like. 

“Now?” he asked quietly. “I can wait if—”  
Hongbin made a frustrated growling sound before swatting Wonshik’s hand out of the way to open his jeans himself. His hand returned to where it had been twisted in Wonshik’s hair.

“I said go,” Hongbin told him with more than a little irritation. “Go.” Wonshik needed no further prompting; he put his hand in Hongbin’s underwear and wrapped his fingers around Hongbin’s considerable erection. Hongbin moaned, loud and surprised, twitching in Wonshik’s hand. He immediately covered his mouth with both hands and flushed in embarrassment.

“Don’t hold it back,” Wonshik told him firmly. “Let me hear you. I like it.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Hongbin said, but he’d moved his hands to Wonshik’s shoulders.

“It’s fucking hot,” Wonshik corrected. He decided to keep Hongbin’s mouth busy with messy kissing as he stroked his cock, pulling it free of his jeans to get a better grip. Hongbin couldn’t keep the sounds in at that point; his hands were on a journey themselves, searching for somewhere on Wonshik’s body he could hold on to as the waves of new sensations rolled over him. It was one thing to touch yourself; it was something else entirely to have someone else’s hand on your cock. He kept his grip fairly loose, but consistent. He wanted to wind Hongbin up, not get him off.

Yet.

“About that plan,” Wonshik murmured into his ear. “We could stick to this.” Hongbin seemed to be struggling to think, so Wonshik helpfully slowed down.

“I like this,” Hongbin said, flushing down to his chest. “But—I can do this by myself. If that makes sense?” Wonshik kissed him, delighted to hear that it wasn’t _quite_ enough today. He would have been happy with just this, of course, but Wonshik wanted to give Hongbin something much more special.

“Got it,” Wonshik said. He brought the hand that had been so busy up Hongbin’s side. “Want to try something else?”

“I trust you,” Hongbin said instead of yes, and Wonshik was so taken aback he froze. As the silence continued and Hongbin started to look more and more alarmed, Wonshik knew he should say something—anything—but words had quite simply failed him.

“...Are you mad?” Hongbin asked very, very quietly and _that_ snapped him out it; he surged forward to kiss Hongbin hot and heavy, a little forceful. His heart was pounding in his ears and he suddenly knew what he wanted to say—what he hadn’t been saying because he was afraid of Hongbin’s reaction. It was the same thing he’d felt thrumming in his chest the day they met, the same thing that only got stronger each passing day, exponentially. This was probably not the time for it, but Wonshik needed Hongbin to know.

“I love you,” he said in between bruising kisses. “I really love you.” He didn’t expect to hear it back; he didn’t need to. It was fine if he was the only one on that page—normal people didn’t jump this far in such a short time and he knew that. He just desperately needed Hongbin to know.

“Oh,” Hongbin said softly.

“You don’t have to say it,” Wonshik said urgently. “It’s fine, I just—I just love you.”

“What if I want to?”

“Want to what?”

“Say it.” Then, without waiting for an answer, said, “I love you Wonshik.” 

He could not have withheld the absolute joy in his heart even if he wanted to; it bloomed on his face and he kissed Hongbin again, and again, and he thought later he would probably get misty-eyed thinking about it because he sounded so fucking _sincere_ that Wonshik 100% believed him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Wonshik assured him. “Just moving.” He got off the bed and pushed Hongbin’s knees apart wide enough for him to kneel, then sit back on his heels. Hongbin propped himself on his elbows, looking at Wonshik with a face he would probably never forget: flushed, pupils blown wide, hair mussed, and lips red and swollen from kissing.

Fuck, he was so beautiful.

“Listen for a sec,” Wonshik said once his breath came back. “If you do this with literally any other person, you need a condom. But you’re a virgin and I’m clean, so we’re good.”

“Got it,” Hongbin said, then grinned at him. “Are you going to show me your talents?”

“I’d like to,” Wonshik said back. “Is that cool?”

“Please,” Hongbin told him, sitting up properly and running one hand through Wonshik’s undoubtedly messy hair. He then pressed a thumb to Wonshik’s lower lip, biting his own as if he was already reminiscing about their kisses.

Wonshik took his cock in hand, setting a slow but confident rhythm. He beamed at Hongbin from between his legs; he really did _like_ giving head. It was a bit tricky to do really well, and the view was spectacular—for both of them. Making full eye contact, he dropped his head and licked up the shaft in one smooth motion, making sure to give a flick just before he reached the head. Hongbin was still biting his lip, but a sound worked its way from his chest anyway. As Wonshik took the head of Hongbin’s cock in his mouth, still without breaking eye contact, he was rewarded by a full-scale moan that he had never heard before. He kept his hand moving as he hollowed his cheeks and sucked, determined to give the best blowjob of his life. When he moved lower, taking in Hongbin more, Hongbin instinctively grabbed his hair, pulling. Wonshik winced, but reminded himself that Hongbin definitely didn’t know what he was doing and continued. He tongued the slit of Hongbin’s cock and tasted him, salty and thick; Wonshik moaned around him.

“Oh fuck,” Hongbin said breathlessly. “Fuck, fuck.”

_Good_ , Wonshik thought, extremely pleased with himself. He released Hongbin’s cock with an obscene pop, grinning up at him.

“See?” he said. “Not bad, right?” Before he could get too smug, Hongbin pulled his hair again and leaned down to kiss him, rushed and messy. Wonshik pulled away, determined to finish what he’d started with flair.

He couldn’t even remember why he decided to get good at this, other than the fact that he already knew he was pretty good at sucking cock and figured he might as well be the best at it. He thumbed the head of Hongbin’s cock before wrapping his lips around him again. He relaxed his throat and took Hongbin in fully, feeling his cock hit the back of Wonshik’s throat, then he sucked.

Hongbin _shuddered_ , throwing his head back hard enough that Wonshik knew he’d done well. It was enough to pull another moan of his own. The grip on his hair tightened suddenly, giving him mere seconds warning to pull back enough for Hongbin to come without choking him; a shout seemed to rip its way out of Hongbin with his climax. Wonshik swallowed, making a mental note to inform Hongbin at some point that he absolutely did not expect him to do the same. 

Wonshik went from sitting on his heels to kneeling, taking in the sight of a post-orgasm Hongbin and absolutely delighting in the knowledge that no one else had ever seen him like this. Absolutely everything about him screamed ‘sex’; he was flushed and breathing hard, sweat beading up on his skin.

“Get up,” Hongbin demanded when he was able to form words again. Wonshik did so immediately, following Hongbin as he lay back again, kissing him and wondering if Hongbin could taste himself in Wonshik’s mouth.

“So,” Wonshik asked, smiling. “How’d I do?”

“I have never come so hard in my life,” Hongbin informed him, grinning back. “What the fuck was I doing before this? We could have done it weeks ago.”

“Nah,” Wonshik said, pressing their foreheads together. “It’s more fun to work your way up to it anyway.”

Hongbin seemed about to argue, but then frowned. Wonshik wasn’t entirely following his train of thought and blinked in slight confusion.

“You okay?” he asked cautiously.

“You’re still hard,” Hongbin pointed out. “You still have your jeans on, even.”

“Well, yeah,” Wonshik said with a shrug. “So?”

“So what do you want to do?” Hongbin asked him.

“We don’t have to—”

“ _Stop doing that,_ ” Hongbin snapped at him. “I want to. Can I jerk you off? I’ve never—it’s not that different though, right? I should be able to do that.”

Wonshik’s mouth went dry.

“If you want to,” he said.

“No,” Hongbin replied. “I want _you_ to want to. To—to want me to.”

“I want you,” Wonshik said, leaning down to murmur in Hongbin’s ear. “I always want you.” He knew he’d hit on something good when Hongbin gasped under him. He started pushing on Wonshik’s shoulders, and Wonshik was more than happy to let Hongbin roll him over, straddle his lap and sit up, beckoning Wonshik up with him.

“Say it again,” Hongbin said, reaching down to pop the button on Wonshik’s jeans. “More.”

“I want you,” Wonshik repeated, this time against Hongbin’s neck. “I want all of you.”

“Keep going,” Hongbin insisted, reaching into Wonshik’s pants to pull out his cock. He was considerably hard by the point, uncomfortably so, and he hissed at the touch as his head fell back. He felt Hongbin’s mouth on his neck at the same time as he adjusted his grip, and the combination was enough to add up to a moan. Hongbin snickered.

“I want—” Wonshik attempted, trying to wrangle words back onto his tongue. “I want you to—”

“To what?” Hongbin purred at him. The words Wonshik found himself grabbing at were not necessarily the words he was trying to say, but they fell out of his mouth in a rush, driven by the way Hongbin was working his cock with a steady, firm grip, thumbing the head now and then.

“To do whatever you want,” Wonshik said. “Whatever you want to do to me—want me to do—anything. Use me.” After a beat, he added with some degree of embarrassment, “Sorry. Fuck.”

Hongbin’s hand stopped, and Wonshik couldn’t bite back the whine.

“Wait,” Hongbin said, sounding both confused and intrigued, “Isn’t that kind of kinky?”

“Um,” Wonshik managed, sincerely hoping Hongbin would get back to the whole ‘jerking off’ thing. “Yeah.”

Hongbin smiled, and something about it made Wonshik both very worried, and _very_ excited. The hand on his cock was moving again, but agonizingly slowly; Wonshik groaned, unsure if he should ask for more or wait to see if Hongbin did it himself. 

“You know,” Hongbin said almost conversationally, “For someone who spent _so_ much time telling me what you were going to do, you really were holding back on telling what you wanted _me_ to do.”

“I want—”

“Beg,” Hongbin said, low and strong. “Beg me for it.”

“Please,” Wonshik said instantly, completely desperate, “Please, _please_ Hongbin, just—”

“Like this?” Hongbin asked, slightly increasing his speed. Judging by his face, he was well aware it wasn’t enough.

Wonshik whined again and Hongbin laughed. He did pick it up again, increasing his pressure and leaning forward in Wonshik’s lap to tempt him closer.

“Kiss me,” he ordered, and Wonshik did with no thought whatsoever. He knew he was close, he could feel the coil of heat and the way his head was spinning; all he needed was Hongbin, all he wanted was Hongbin, and then Hongbin broke the kiss to _bite Wonshik on the neck—_

He had no hope whatsoever of avoiding his orgasm at that point. He barely withheld a shout, fingers pressing against Hongbin’s hips so hard they went white, and coming in his hand. As the fog in his head started to clear, he became aware of the blatantly smug satisfaction on Hongbin’s face.

“You’re kinky,” Hongbin beamed. “I caught you.”

“I basically _told_ you,” Wonshik felt compelled to point out, flopping onto his back. Hongbin stretched out over him, crossing his arms across Wonshik’s chest to rest his chin on. It should not have been comfortable, at all, but he wondered if there was a way to sit like this all the time. He ran one hand through Hongbin’s thoroughly-disheveled hair.

“Do you want to do kinky stuff sometimes?” Hongbin asked, leaning into his palm. 

“Uh,” Wonshik said, unsure of the best way to answer the question. He pulled his hand out of Hongbin’s hair, only to have Hongbin attempt to bite his finger along the way.

“If you want to, we can try,” Hongbin said. “I’m game.”

“I’m into some kind of...” Wonshik blushed, attempting to summarize his degree of kink in a succinct manner, “Heavier stuff...”

“For example?”

“It’s. It’s kind of hard to just explain.”

“Try,” Hongbin said dryly. “Miracles happen, Wonshik.” Wonshik flicked him in the forehead before immediately gently patting the same spot to soothe it.

“Look, I feel like we should get the basics down before we really get into all of that,” Wonshik told him with a vague gesture. “There’s a lot of ground to cover before we step into the darkness.”

“Darkness?” Hongbin inquired. “Like what, BDSM or something?” When he did not get a reply—only a deeper shade of red—he whistled.

“Damn, that _is_ heavy,” he said. “Good point about basics though. We’ll get around to it.” Determined to reroute Hongbin’s train of thought, Wonshik put a hand on Hongbin’s back and rubbed.

“So,” he said in an overly-gossipy tone. “How was losing your virginity?”

“Eh, it was okay,” he shrugged. Wonshik’s face must have been alarming, because he immediately followed up with a more sincere, “I’m joking! It was great!”

“Tell me what you liked,” Wonshik requested. “And what you didn’t, of course.”

“I didn’t like how fucking annoying it was to have to constantly reassure my boyfriend that I did, in fact, want to be having sex with him,” Hongbin told him bluntly. “ _Constantly._ ”

“Consent is very important to me,” Wonshik said quietly. “It’s very easy to... get wrong. I didn’t—I don’t want to hurt you, so—”

“But I did like how you didn’t push me,” Hongbin interrupted him. “You paid attention. I was nervous, but I wasn’t scared. Not that it’s possible for a human being to be scared of you, but in this case, you helped everything be a little... less, I guess?”

“Good,” Wonshik said.

“Also, holy fuck, you weren’t kidding about the blow job,” Hongbin said, eyes going wide as he remembered. “You’re _really_ good. Not that I have a comparison but that was _awesome._ ”

“I try,” Wonshik said, basking in the praise and glow absolutely oozing off of Hongbin. It occurred to him suddenly that, hopefully, the near future would be a delightful string of firsts for them both—them together. It was such a jubilant, exciting thought that he felt his toes curl. Looking at Hongbin, beaming and relaxed, Wonshik felt a twinge in his chest. Hongbin had said—but that was before, when they were in the middle of it and feelings run hot. A very tiny part of him was very, very afraid that maybe it wasn’t actually real.

“I love you,” Wonshik repeated, but softly, hoping the fear didn’t show in his face. Hongbin frowned at him, and Wonshik felt that tiny part get significantly bigger.

“Why are you making that face?” Hongbin asked. He reached out and brushed Wonshik’s hair off his forehead. “It’s weird.”

“Nothing,” Wonshik said, insecurity shrieking in his head.

“It’s not ‘nothing’,” Hongbin protested. “Something is clearly bothering you, so just tell me.”

“It’s—”

“I love you, idiot, so maybe tell me what the hell you’re so nervous about all of the sudden.” Hongbin complained with a judgmental squint. “Unless you would like to register a complaint.”

Wonshik internally smacked the insecurity down again.

“I wasn’t sure you’d... still feel it,” Wonshik confessed very, very quietly.

“What?” Hongbin asked. “That I love you?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would I stop?” Hongbin asked. “That doesn’t even make sense. Anybody would love you _even more_ after sex, right? I mean, I did before, but I for sure do now.”

“Some people only say it in the moment,” Wonshik said.

“Who the fuck does that?”

“My ex.”

Hongbin’s expression went from startled, to sad, then to anger in rapid succession.

“Your ex is shit,” he said with great conviction. “I love you. See? Not a moment, but I still do.”

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you loved me?” Wonshik asked, well aware this was a difficult question to answer. He wanted to shut his brain up by giving it something reassuring, and truthfully, anything further back than ‘today’ would be enough.

“I don’t know,” Hongbin answered softly. “Maybe—maybe that day we played games the first time.”

“... _Before_ the first date?!” Wonshik said, eyes wide.

“I mean—I already liked you, but after that I—it was kind of more than that, so I guess... about then,” Hongbin said, scrunching up his face as he tried to recall. “After you left, I was just really _sad_. I didn’t really know why, I just kept thinking I should have asked you to stay, or asked if I could go home with you, or _something._ ”

“I almost kissed you,” Wonshik confessed abruptly. “That night, I mean.”

Hongbin smiled, and Wonshik felt like even if the world was literally ending, he would still be happy. Then Hongbin’s smile turned devious, dimples making their appearance and melting his heart into a hopeless puddle of affection.

“Show me,” Hongbin purred at him. “Kiss me like you wanted to.”

“It wasn’t going to be a sexy kiss,” Wonshik prefaced. “Just like. A cute one.”

“I still want it,” Hongbin said. “Gimme.”

How could he possibly say no to that? He beckoned Hongbin to get into reach, then kissed him; it was soft and sweet, just enough to mean something more than words could. He remembered the nervous flutter in his chest when he thought about Hongbin back then, and the warmth of his arms around Hongbin’s waist.

And then it was over, and Hongbin was looking at him with overwhelming affection.

“Can you do me a favor?” Hongbin asked.

“Sure,” Wonshik said immediately. He didn’t need to wait; he’d do anything for this boy.

“Kiss me when you want to,” Hongbin said. “Like that.”

“Really?” Wonshik replied with surprise. “Any time?”

“Every time,” Hongbin told him. “It helps me.”

“Helps you what?”

“Remember that you love me,” Hongbin clarified. “Not that I don’t—believe it, I just...”

Wonshik kissed him again, because he wanted to and now he was allowed. Hongbin sighed happily, melting into Wonshik. He was starting to get slightly uncomfortable, so he rolled them sideways, tangling their legs together and throwing an arm around Hongbin’s waist. He was a cuddler, but he wasn’t totally sure how to ask for it, so he just tried to satisfy himself with general closeness. Hongbin pressed their foreheads together.

“Say it,” he said. “You’re thinking about something.”

“I want to cuddle,” he admitted. Hongbin laughed.

“You would,” he said with a snort. “Alright, let’s cuddle.” Without further direction or prompting, he rolled over. He kept a hold of Wonshik’s arm until he was settled, then let it fall around his waist again. Wonshik pulled him even closer, curling around him and pressing his nose behind Hongbin’s ear. He could feel a pleasant pull of sleep at the corner of his mind.

“I might fall asleep,” he warned Hongbin.

“That’s fine,” Hongbin answered.

“It’s not,” Wonshik informed him. “I snore like a freight train, according to Taekwoon-hyung.”

“That’s fine,” Hongbin repeated, putting a hand over Wonshik’s and twisting their fingers together. “You’re fine, Wonshik.”

It was there, with a beautiful warm boy in his arms that he loved from the bottom of his heart that Wonshik drifted off. The smile on his face felt like it was etched on and would never fade. Just before he truly fell asleep, he felt Hongbin press himself even closer.

It was perfect.


End file.
